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The Macalope Daily: Who would Steve Jobs fire?

The Macalope | Oct. 5, 2012
We may have reached peak self-parody with the "What would Steve Jobs have done?" posts, readers. The Macalope's just not sure where we go from Rocco Pendola writing for Forbes: "If Steve Jobs Were Alive, He Would Fire Tim Cook" (no link because enough is enough, Forbes, but tip o' the antlers to Daring Fireball).

...(B) The above-mentioned details exonerate Cook from real consequences for the types of horrendous missteps Jobs never would have made...

It's hard to believe we're still doing this. Must the Macalope trot out MobileMe again? Must he point out that Jobs was aware of everything Apple had planned for the past year, if not longer?

...and (C) There's no difference between how Cook errs and responds to mistakes and how Jobs did.

Of course there's a difference. To say that Jobs's response is the only right way, however, is ridiculous. The man is dead. To run around trying to emulate him is pointless and expressly against his last wishes. Yet that's exactly what Pendola thinks Cook should do.

I think I have a decent way with words, however, I cannot find any even close to appropriate to illustrate how flabbergasted I am right now.

That makes two of us.

If Jobs was alive and just slid into a Chairman or Director role, Cook would have been writing his resignation letter, not a sappy apology on Friday.

So, we now have people criticizing the apology for being a non-apology and people criticizing it for being sappy. If we could only get them into a room and have them fight it out.

The recovery process is what matters. Cook butchered this one.

Actually, what matters is iPhone sales. Which, you know, aren't so bad.

Ultimately, this is an incredibly sad story.

Jobs's death is sad. Apple's performance since then is actually quite good.

But what's also sad is people dragging out Jobs's name to try to bash Apple over the head. Criticize the company if you want, but doing it in Steve Jobs's name is a lazy way of justifying your lousy analysis of Apple. It's an unseemly and now tired technique. Knock it off already.

[Editors' Note: In addition to being a mythical beast, the Macalope is not an employee of Macworld. As a result, the Macalope is always free to criticize any media organization. Even ours.]

 

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