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The Macalope Weekly: From bad to worse

The Macalope | Oct. 1, 2012
You'd think that if Steve Jobs called you "a slime bucket" for talking out of school about his cancer that you might have the good taste to not presume to lecture on how Apple would be doing if Jobs were still alive.

As opposed to the other publications that got information from Google "sources who are familiar with the situation and vewy, vewy sad about how mean Apple's being [pouty face]," who are impeccably unbiased.

Both fail to discuss the suckiness of the maps app itself and instead spin the story to one about timing.

There's no spin here. Both Gruber and Siegler have admitted that the data stinks, they're answering the question of why Apple would use it. This offends the tender sensibilities of the artist formerly known as Fake Steve, because the only rational reaction is for us to all lose our foul-word-for-composure because the data on one app on Apple's latest mobile operating system isn't accurate in many instances. Someone needs to be frog-marched out of One Infinite Loop!

And, of course, in this version of events, Apple is doing the right thing. And, of course, the villain is Google.

Lyons pulls no quotes from Siegler or Gruber and offers no refutation of points either have made. Lyons just says "Of course they come down on Apple's side because they're in Apple's pocket." Ipso facto ergo sum allakazam! They're guilty.

Here's an actual quote from Gruber:

Apple wanted turn-by-turn and vector map tiles. Google wanted more control over the Maps app, more branding, and more identifiable location data. So Apple moved.

Apparently, laying out what was a business decision by both Apple and Google is shilling in Lyons's book.

Let the Macalope be clear (again): Bad on Apple for shipping an app with crappy data. Discussing the very real business reasons why the company did so, however, does not make someone a shill.

It's called misdirection, and it's mostly used by magicians and PR people.

Yes! Understanding why things happened is misdirection! Don't try to understand things, just brow-beat Apple!

See, this is how it works. When you're foisting a turd off on your customers, you don't call it a turd. You cover it with shiny sparkly fake jewels and call it a tiara.

Lyons is shocked-SHOCKED!-to find there is marketing going on here! It's a good thing Google would never do anything like that! Like, say, faking an address in an ad to make Apple's map data look worse than it is.

Fortunately Apple still has shills who will carry water for them.

The crazy thing is (as if there is just one crazy thing in this piece), Gruber agrees with him:

Under-promise, over-deliver. Apple usually does a good job at that, but I agree with [Jean-Louis] Gassée: they did not set expectations properly for the new Maps app.


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