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The Macalope Weekly: It's a living

The Macalope | Oct. 15, 2012
Another Saturday and the Macalope is back with three more harrowing tales of "Yes, they actually get paid for this." First is the hedge fund manager who calls the iPhone a huge fail because it's too light. Then a writer for Slate says "The iPhone 5 is boring. No, wait, it's awesome!" And, finally, a business school professor has an explanation for Apple you've never heard before!

"I like pork rinds and feel that Steve Jobs, were he here today, would agree with me that pork rinds are delicious ... despite being a vegan."

Can Apple keep the well-above-cellphone-industry-average customer upgrade cycle going?


With Steve Jobs gone, Apple is at risk of losing that magical Walt Disney feeling.

Which is a terrific example because, as everyone knows, Disney completely lost its magical feeling after Walt died and ended up shutting down several years later, the end.

For his part, Ray thinks the "hedgie" who should get a wedgie and other Apple critics are full of hot air:

The iPhone is an exquisite piece of industrial design that stands alone. Kass must be the only person on the planet who thinks a thinner, lighter iPhone is a bad thing.

He's out of touch, sounds like a bit of a jerk, and he runs a hedge fund. What are the odds?

Mirror, mirror

Remember how boooooring the iPhone 5 was? Sure you do! It was in all the papers! The iPhone 5 was totally dullsville, man, and Apple is out of ideas! Better just fire Tim Cook, shut the company down, and give the money back to investors.

Bor. Ing.

Well, you might want to have a neck brace ready, because you're about to get whiplash.

Slate's Farhad Manjoo practically pioneered the "iPhone = boring" theme back in July.

"The iPhone Is Boring"

Subtitle: "It's time for Apple to show us something new."

We know you've reinvented more product categories in the last ten years than all of your competitors combined, but what have you done for us lately, Apple? Make with the new shiny! The effete members of our esteemed technology press are practically falling asleep in their snuff boxes!

Anyway, what's the opposite of buyer's remorse?

"The iPhone 5 Is a Miracle"

Yes, by Farhad Manjoo.

The Macalope, ever trying to be helpful, will frequently come up with explanations for why a pundit will say something crazy about Apple. In this instance he submits for your approval the idea that Slate employs two Farhad Manjoos. Or is it Farhads Manjoo? Well, whatever, one Farhad Manjoo is of our Earth, the other is a goateed Farhad Manjoo from an alternate Earth--an Earth gone mad, if you will. An Earth turned upside down, where good is evil, black is white, day is night, right, you get the idea.

One of the Manjoos, presumably the non-evil one, is at least upfront about the varied opinions you'll get from guys named Farhad Manjoo who write for Slate.

When Apple unveiled the iPhone 5 last month, many tech pundits called it "boring." I was one of them. In fact, I was so bored that I called the iPhone boring way back in July, on the basis of the lackluster new mobile operating system that Apple announced at its developer conference.


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