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The Macalope Weekly: It's a living

The Macalope | Oct. 15, 2012
Another Saturday and the Macalope is back with three more harrowing tales of "Yes, they actually get paid for this." First is the hedge fund manager who calls the iPhone a huge fail because it's too light. Then a writer for Slate says "The iPhone 5 is boring. No, wait, it's awesome!" And, finally, a business school professor has an explanation for Apple you've never heard before!

Indeed, Evil Farhad even keyed the Farhads' first reaction to the iPhone 5, calling it "not the best iPhone ever," and complaining about the Lightning connector.

Now, almost a month later, it's time for me to get something off my chest: I've made a huge mistake.

Or, is it that Good Farhad is now writing and simply doesn't want us to know, because evil twins aren't covered under Slate's group health policy? Your filial loyalty (or whatever you call it with an evil twin) is admirable, Farhad, but you shouldn't be covering for him. Particularly not after what he did to Ensign Chekov in the Agony Booth.

I'll go even further: When I pick up the iPhone 5 and examine it closely, I find it difficult to believe that this device actually exists. The iPhone 5 does not feel like a product that was mass produced. In a strange way, it doesn't feel like it was built at all. This is a gadget that seems as if it fell into the box fully formed. If you run your hands around its face, you...

OK, OK. Easy there. Suffice it to say, Good Farhad likes the iPhone 5. A lot.

We are left to wonder, however, when Evil Farhad will escape from the dimensional corridor in which Good Farhad has trapped him and retake the keyboard to ...

Uh ... shoot. The Macalope dropped his Star Trek: The Original Series reference cards and now they're all mixed up. Crazy Lazarus from The Alternative Factor wasn't from the same dimension as Evil Spock. Or was he?

Well, whatever. At least the Macalope's explanation is more charitable than "technology pundit shoots his mouth off about technologies he hasn't used yet, later realizes how wrong he was."

Saturday Special: No way!

You guys are not going to believe this but according to Professor Rosa Chun of the UCD Smurfit School of Business, Apple is (are you sitting down?) ...

... a religion.

Shocking, right?! Who saw that coming?!

Writing for the Irish Times, Chun says "Emotional attachment to Apple is waning as innovation gives way to greed" (tip o' the antlers to UnLaoised).

Previously, you see, Apple was a non-profit. Not a lot of people remember that. Possibly because it's not true.

It's a little ironic being lectured about greed by someone who teaches at a business school. Of course, it's entirely possible that someone bothered by the profit motivation of corporations would choose to teach instead of working in the business world.

Apple's pre-order sales figures for its iPhone5 [sic] were impressive, with more than two million people pre-ordering the smartphone in the first 24 hours after its launch last month.


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