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The outrage gap: How Apple always gets top billing

The Macalope | Oct. 7, 2014
If there's no such thing as bad publicity then Apple's got it made.

Attention pundits! Your Apple bias is showing. First, in outrage over bendable iPhones, then in a matter of security. Then we learn what Steve Jobs would have thought about Apple's new product names. From some dude.

Getting bent

Writing for the Huffington Post, Shelly Palmer unleashes a charming euphemism to describe how Apple is treating its customers.

"Have an iPhone 6? Apple Says, 'Bend Over'" (tip o' the antlers to @JonyIveParody)

Actually, aren't they saying don't bend over? You know, if you're going to make a crude analogy you should at least have it make sense.

Right after the iPhone 4 was released (back in June 2010), people noticed that holding the device in a normal, natural way caused it to drop calls.

Wrong! It caused it to reduce reception which could cause it to drop calls. But, sure, let's make it sound as bad as possible.

I remember this well because not only was it a fact that I personally verified...

"I have also verified that donuts are delicious."

Unless you were off planet (or not paying attention in class) this past week, you've probably heard that the iPhone 6 has a "form-fitting" case that will shape itself to match your backside--if you keep the device in your back pocket.

And sit on it. Probably repeatedly. That's kind of a key point, here. But, again, these fits don't hissy themselves.

According to Apple, this is not true:

Palmer then goes on to quote Apple's statement on the issue which, of course, says nothing of the sort. No, it says exactly what Consumer Reports said and what Square Trade said. It's not a flimsy phone and you pretty much have to mistreat it to bend it.

Photographs do lie, but alas, the photographs of bent iPhones are mostly real.

Yes, and most of the ones the Macalope has seen are of phones that have been bent on purpose either out of sheer vandalism, Apple derangement syndrome, or link-baiting.

None of this is to say that the iPhone 6 Plus doesn't bend under certain stresses. It obviously does. But a few instances out of the millions of devices sold isn't necessarily indicative of an endemic problem.

I have received several phone calls from actual victims seeking help.

Victims? You mean you've been called by the phones that have been abused in this manner? That is sad.

Self-hypnosis is one thing, but making buyers of $400 -- $950 smartphones bend over is something else entirely.

Because the fact that some people are able to bend their aluminum phones with what appears to be--according to several sources that tested this--considerable force is the same thing as receiving a sex act that we can't discuss on a family web site. Or, maybe this is all just being made into a big deal because Apple.


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