FRAMINGHAM, 28 OCTOBER 2009 - It's been really difficult using the Force to convince your HR manager or boss to see things your way: Your threats of turning fellow workers to the Dark Side sound hollow and that Jedi mind trick you've been working on for the past six months doesn't seem to be getting you anywhere. Your big promotion? You might as well be working in the Spice Mines of Kessel.
So what's left? Use the implicit wisdom and shared experiences of those inhabitants of a galaxy far, far away to raise your profile and keep your reputation free from coworkers' derogatory "bantha fodder" references.
"You have failed me for the last time, Admiral." -Darth Vader
File Under: Employer Selection; Workplace Culture; Employee Grievances
Star Wars Moment: Several Empire commanders are either choked, threatened or murdered for challenging Imperial authority and/or failing on their respective missions. In one memorable scene in Episode V, Captain Piett is quickly promoted to Admiral Piett just after the former Admiral Ozzel is choked to death by Lord Vader, due to his clumsiness and stupidity.
Real-World Lesson: If your company's chain-of-command allows for the somewhat indiscriminate sacking and/or killing of employees for speaking up or failing on business initiatives, find a job elsewhere.
"I suggest a new strategy, R2: Let the Wookiee win." -C-3PO
File Under: CRM; Relationship Building; Networking
Star Wars Moment: C-3PO advises R2-D2 to allow Chewbacca to win at a space-age chess game aboard the Millennium Falcon. Wookiees can "pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose," advises Han Solo. "Wookiees are known to do that."
Real-World Lesson: Always allow your boss or most important customer to beat you at golf, get the best seat at a restaurant and tell the same story you've heard 30 times before.
"Execute Order 66." -Darth Sidious (a.k.a. Dark Lord of the Sith, a.k.a. Chancellor Palpatine, a.k.a. The Emperor)
File Under: Recruiting; Employer Culture
Star Wars Moment: The Army of the Republic troops, which eventually become part of the evil Galactic Empire, are all clones, and we see the failings of "clone behavior" and the disastrous outcomes. Order 66 results in a mass Jedi murder.
Real-World Lesson: Individuality and entrepreneurial thinking are typically underappreciated in most organizations today, but companies with too many clones (a.k.a. "yes men") rarely enjoy sustained business success.
"Soon you will learn to appreciate me." -Jabba the Hutt (and his gross tongue)
File Under: Workplace Culture; Networking
Star Wars Moment: Princess Leia must sport virtually non-existent "slave" attire in Episode VI as she is forced to sit at the side of Jabba the Hutt in his main audience chamber and sail barge.
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