Subscribe / Unsubscribe Enewsletters | Login | Register

Pencil Banner

Nine signs you're an Apple addict

Tom Kaneshige | May 4, 2010
You might be an Apple addict if...

FRAMINGHAM, 4 MAY 2010 - You might be an Apple addict if...

1. Pity the lonely life of the iPhone addict: Some addicts are mesmerized by an iPhone, their social skills fading away faster than an iPhone battery bar. Others take on demonic behavior, attacking any blogger foolish enough to criticize the church of Apple (AAPL) or its angelic leader, Steve Jobs. Jobs says iPhone owners spend an average 30 minutes a day on their iPhone. But iPhone addicts probably spend hours, burning out their batteries in less than a year. Here are eight signs that you might have a little problem.

2. You Have Nightmares of a Dead (or Missing) iPhone: We've all left the house without the iPhone. It happens. So how far away were you when you returned to retrieve it? The idea of a missing iPhone or a dead battery can cause sheer panic among Apple addicts. A true iPhone addict takes necessary precautions. There's an iPhone car charger in every car, a Mophie Juice Pack at the ready, an adapter at the office and at home, maybe even the gym. God forbid you get a phone call or text message or hear a song that only the Shazam app can identify, only to not have your iPhone charged and with you. How did people live pre-iPhone days? Without the iPhone, you just might have to have a real conversation with the person in front of you.

3. You Can't Pass an Apple Store Without Entering: Call it the Church of Apple. A lightning bolt will strike you down if you walk past an Apple Store without entering its hallowed room and bowing at the Genius Bar. Never mind that there's virtually nothing to see at the Apple Store, nothing new to learn for Apple addicts like yourself. Merely entering an Apple Store is a religious experience. Of course, you probably also waited in lines for hours just to get your hands on a new iPhone or iPad. So walking through an Apple Store's doors has new meaning to you: A sense of liberation. Or maybe it's just a fix.

4. You're a Troll Calling Yourself "applehaterssuck": The cadre of Apple trolls, um, savvy Apple consumers love to defend poor Apple on any Website or blog that criticizes the greatest company in the world. It's as if Apple can't do anything wrong. Apple fanboys make Tea Party fanatics look like a swell group. But there are signs Apple is an evil empire in the making. Case in point: Apple's methodical annihilation of Adobe (ADBE) Flash. Apple claims to be more open than Adobe by adopting open standards like HTML 5. From a technology point of view, this may be true; but Apple lock-in comes in many forms, such as draconian contracts and approval processes, as well as platform ownership.

 

1  2  Next Page 

Sign up for Computerworld eNewsletters.